Appreciating Relationships

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be Joyful Always J
Pray Continually P
Give Thanks in all circumstances T

Follow JPT rule daily

http://www.storypreso.com/blog/2009/10/3stories-1message/

Appreciation = Valuing traits + Paying attention to happenings around you + acknowledging the worth of the other person

Then EXPRESS it (Don’t keep it to yourself).

Use the VPA rule to find all that you love to appreciate, then DO it

Knapp’s Relationship Model
Circle of location
Your contacts are based on your location at work, leisure and home + internet

Initiation
10-15 seconds of time
Acting out, Best foot forward
Standard greetings
Information held – do I want to meet or not?
Information sought – do I want to continue to not?

Experimenting
Gain information
This is the Progress point
Judge and continue – with or without

Intensifying
Self-disclosure
Less formal
Individual traits & preferences are expressed
Partition point
Judge and match – yes or no
If YES


Integrating
Doing things together
Pairing up – friendship, courtship
Shared identity


Bonding
Legal relationship
Only few reach this level
If NO


Differentiating
Stress on ME instead of WE
Different interests / hobbies

Circumscribing (Developing boundaries)
Communication reduces
Some topics are taboo. Only cause pain when discussed
Chances of getting alright by sincere love and discussions


Stagnating
Avoid discussions
Irritated with other’s behaviors
Others notice


Avoiding
Physical separation
Reduce opportunities to interact

Termination
Move out.


How happy a person is, depends upon the depth of his gratitude – John Miller
‘Christ – You – Others’ triangle

Facts:

• Appreciation should be pro-active (when giving)
• Appreciation should be earned (when receiving)
• Appreciating habit comes out of appreciating yourself (What you have is what you give)

Practicing Appreciation in Relationship

Traits you Value	Why you are grateful	Individual

Practicing Appreciation at Work

Tasks you do	Opportunity to make a difference	So what?